A first draft of the Young Writer of the Year ‘Silver’ story. Initial comments from teacher. Please add your feedback below to help Jacy develop her story further.
Ebony wandered down the old stone [U1] path, her arms roping herself tightly shut. Frost entangled itself in her hair and the icy wind that whipped around her legs caused her coat to billow out behind her. She paused only momentarily to appreciate the sweet fragrance of the jasmine [U2] before continuing on. Reaching the prestigious wrought iron gates she swivelled and gazed at the property before her. An impressive Victorian mansion surrounded by sweeping manicured gardens to say the least[U3] . To Ebony though, it was much, much more. Between every wall and behind every Rhododendron bush which encircled the house, a secret was hidden, a story was lying, a skeleton was lurking just waiting to rip her life apart. [U4]
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